Too much time.

‘ Why do I need immortality if I am so alone?’

– Georgy Ivanov

If someone asked me do I wanna live forever, I would say No. Eternity is going to kill me. At first I would get bored. My short life term lets me have goals and time for that. Eternity means not having time and my dreams would become a routine. Finally I could not handle it, since no one can stay with me. I can not love. I can not give to others, what do they want from me. I do not know, how to be a friend, a lover, a daughter. I prefer to stay alone. Because I am feeling comfortable only being alone. But I do not feel loneliness. If to take a look from this side, I would get crazy and my ambitions to change this dirty humanity would grow day after day. Year after year. And trying to change something I would kill a human inside me. If I have eternity, why do I have to worry about stupid things as studying and to get a stability job? To create a family? To build a house? I do not need it even now.

Who would I become having so much time? Having life without time?

I would get crazy.

I am already crazy.

To be immortal means to kill God.

God is already killed.

I have more time, than I need, because I am not afraid to die.

Yes, something is wrong with me…

… But every night I am dreaming Death and ask, when she is going to take me with her… Normal people do not want to have a meeting with her…

… I am waiting our meetings every night…

Because I already have eternity.

It is Thursday.


One thought on “Too much time.”

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