“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”
– John 11:25-26
Hello, my dear friend,
Today is Easter. How do you celebrate it? Are you with your family now? Or friends?
But, I wanted to talk about Easter dialogue with God nowadays.
The first time, when Jesus still has not come to save us, Easter was mentioned as Passover in the Jews tradition. They were saved by spirit of God. and for them the mean of this day was freedom.
In front of God a human is a chaos. And He decided to send to us His son for saving our souls from sins, And He has sent Jesus to us, who was as a lamb. He died for our sins, for freedom of our souls. He was suffering long days for forgiveness. But… Do we remember it?
Do we remember, why do we celebrate Easter?
From childhood my family has not talked about God, Jesus, Bible and faith in general. Maybe it is the reason why it is so hard to understand the real sense of this day. Because we are used to celebrate Easter as a tradition, not freedom, saving and forgiveness…
Now I will ask you only one question. What is your dialogue with God today, my dear friend?
Do your friends know the meaning of this celebration? Your children? Your family? Or it is just a day for painting eggs and eating food? Just a tradition? So, how is it?
And I will send to you one problem question – why do you celebrate Easter?
My dear friend, I hope you remember, how our sins were forgiven. How have we gotten this freedom. How our souls were saved. Please, do not forget it and at least say Thank you to Jesus, WHO DIED FOR US. To God, WHO HAS SENT HIS OWN CHILD TO DIE FOR US.
It is not a simple holiday one time per year. It is our freedom, my dear friend. And celebrate it. With your family and friends. And tell to everyone this story. Tell to people real story of this day. Real suffering and forgiveness.
How are you? How is your job, family, friends?.. When the last time you have asked how is your mother or father feeling? Or how you could help to your friend? Or why your sister or brother is so upset?
When the last time you have asked yourself, are you happy?
When the last time you have cried?
When the last time you have been angry?
When, my lovely friend, the last time you have said to yourself, you are amazing?
Can you remember? No?
Then I will say it to you. Just listen.
Maybe now you are thinking you can not do it. You are depressed or upset. You have problems and do not have a time for the rest.
But close your eyes for five minutes. Imagine yourself. Imagine your smile. Imagine people around you… Who do you see?
Think about happiness. Do not think about problems. Every problem is solved. It is only materialism. After some months you will not remember it.
Think about your goals. What do you want to do today? Tomorrow? Another week? Another month? Are you working for it? Are you trying to change something? Or you only try to solve your problems? Remember. After one problem comes another one… It is life…
But think. Are you still thinking? About what? About people around you? Are you afraid to disappoint them? Do not be… They will support you.
Think. Do you want to change something? Just do it. Now. Today. You do not know, how? Call to your best friend, sister, brother, father or someone else and talk. Talk about your dreams…
Good people will be near. Toxic people throw away from your life.
My dear friend, have you spent that five minutes in silence? Think, how much time you spend for yourself every day? Only you and your mind? How much?
I will share with you with my own story.
It is not long.
I know, some people are afraid to talk about their life experience. I know, how hard it can be. But, it happened.
Maybe you have a good family… Me too… Now…
I will not explain everything from my life. I just will say, that from childhood my step father every day has said to me, everything what I can achieve is to become a stripper. No one has heard it. No one has believed to me. He was talking so only when I was alone. And many years I was growing with this thought… I need to admit, it was painful. I was growing in hatred… But I have too much love… Love for people, nature and all this world… I know, I should hate people, but I can not…
My dear friend, people are amazing. Just not every one can solve his problems… Just not every one is strong… Just not every one can admit his weakness… But you can… Because when you admit it, you become stronger. And you will be… You will achieve everything, what you want.
Today is Thursday and I have to go to Vilnius city. It takes 4 hours with a bus, because I am living in Klaipeda, near the sea, in another side of our country.
You will ask what I am gonna to do there? Ech, I will answer… I am going to leave Vilnius university, where I am studying at this moment.
I was afraid to do it, but I decided to live for happiness, not for recognition of others. I have sent the application to the Netherlands universities. I changed my program. I want to study computer science… Can you imagine, my dear friend? Today I am still a student of Italian language and literature. Irony, right?
You will ask why I have not done it earlier… I will say, I did not have enough courage to do it. I thought I am not smart, disciplined and etc… But… It is only my toxic mind.
I CAN DO IT. AND I WILL.
My dear friend, it does not matter how hard or impossible it looks, do it. You are the one, who can change something, who has to work for his own happiness. Make a good decisions… And if they are wrong, do not worry. Understand them, learn from your mistakes, live… We are only humans, we are not perfect.
I am so glad you are still here. And today I will write to you about my faith.
In general I am trying to avoid talking about religion. It is hard topic, even if we have different cultures. But as it already has been written, mine is not yours.
Let me confess, officially I am a christian orthodox. But, to be honest, till 18 I have never thought about my faith. About religions as different cultures, philosophy, yes, but I could not imagine that one day I will take the Bible into my own hands.
One my friend has very big faith and she suggested to come to one youth protestants group with her. I said why not. I like science and for me it was an opportunity to get more knowledge in this subject.
But about it later… After 2 years of many questions, trying to understand, to believe, to love God, I could say I do not believe more than before.
Now I will explain, why.
First of all, church. People there are zombienised. ( I am not sure if I can use this word. Does it exist in English in general?) A pastor there has said if you do not believe to God your life means nothing. Everything is simple, right? And people believe to this shit. A few hundred people are sitting there and listening his words. Without trying to ask, to think. If in the Bible is written so, I will do it, – has said one guy.
Okay, I understand, everyone can this as he wants. I just was shocked how easy they believe. I do not know, maybe it is not bad. Even when for me it is so hard. After two years I can say, I hate churches. I have changed many of them. In one to me was told, you have to baptize in our church if you want to be part of it. And it does not matter if I already was baptized.
Secondly, the Bible. Maybe all Christians now will hate me, but ( but they can not as it is written in the Bible) I can not believe to that myths. Yes, maybe a person as Jesus has existed, but have you ever read the Old Testament? No, really, how people can believe to that stories? For me the Bible is like a faith for people, who lived before us. Because they had to have a faith to better life. To life after death. To someone, who will save them.
But I am not theologian. Enough about the Bible. And please, understand me clearly. I am not against Christianity. I envy people, who can believe. I am a person, who is thinking to much and sometimes it works against me.
But that is not all. Now, let’s talk about God. Do you believe, it is old man sitting on the clouds? Really?
Okay, Christians do not say so, but from childhood to us, or at least, to me, people around have said so. You have to be afraid of Him. Do not lie, do not kill, do not steal and bla bla bla… But I have never believed to Him.
So, God. One day he decided to create something. It is like a time does not exist for Him and here is not beginning. But he just made cosmos, galaxies, planets and parallels worlds. Yes, in the Bible is not written so, but how he could create Earth without cosmos? And look at this, from the beginning, which, if to look from God’s side, a time does not exist, he made death… Remember the Bible, it was our choice to be mortal. But stars do not exist forever, also planets, because of the big star called Sun. Our planet will be burned one day… But nowadays it does not make sense… So, my dear friend, forget this shit.
Okay, I am not good in astronomy, but, what I have meant, death was created before the choice of Adam and Ieva.
Yes, God created us, gave to us the choice and has a plan to every one of us. He planned World Wars, suicides, bullying, countled wars declared in His name?… Yes, He gave to us a choice, but he created us. And as a father did He take a responsibility? Okay, fine, forget my growing ego. How can I judge Him? But remember random murders, racism… Fine, you got me… It is our choice… But where is God? He has to be near, but… Nowadays he is silent…
Or God from the Bible was created just for manage control?
Sorry, my friend, but to my mind, it is so.
My faith is not yours… I even could not say, I believe now. But I am trying. I do not believe to the church, to the Bible, to Your God… But I believe to my God. My God is science. Only science, about what we know nothing. Do you remember? Before one hundred years we did not know what is a computer. And now everyone has it at home. Funny, right?
My God is waiting for me. And I will find Him. My God is my future. And I hope he will help to me to help to others. Not to sit in the church and listen how we should live.
My dear friend, sorry, if now you do not think good about me. I am only human as you. I can be right, I can be wrong. Do not be angry.