Hello, my dear friend,
Today is 30th of April. I am sitting in airport and waiting for my flight. Today I come back to Italy. May someone would be happy… But I feel only apathy. Yes, I have a bipolar disorder. It is normal. Today I feel nothing. I want to sit, to drink black coffee, to smoke and to do nothing. I should change my mind, but I like it. I like to feel nothing. It does not hurt. I like, when materialism does not matter for me. Life is easier. I like, when people’s words are not important for me. I can live with my own mind. Today I am without feelings. I am crying somewhere in my heart, but even this does not have meaning for me. Yes… Today I am broken.
My dear friend, it is not normal.
But it is normal for me.
My dear friend, I am not sure, why I am writing it here.
I want to remember. Or to forget? I do not know. As I have said, today I want nothing.
I do not want to eat, to sleep, to meet with people. Only to sit and to think.
About what am I thinking without feelings? About everything. Because now feelings do not disturb to me.
My dear friend, sorry for this boring post.
I hope, you are doing well.