' If God dies, it was not God.‘
I have seen this line on instagram and, to be honestly, I am a little scared… Does it not depend on who you consider to be God? Fuck… Considered… What is wrong with endings?
… Please, say, that it depends…
It happens again. You are thinking about what is important to you and call your reasoning bullshit. You write about your killing avarice and delete this line. You say this time you are going to live and buy a new pack of cigarettes.
How long have you started turning to yourself in the second person?
It is Friday.
I allow myself to knowingly be wrong, but it is fine, since I can be calm in the mistake. Perfectionist is killed by mistakes.
When people ask me, what have I done, I say ‘ nothing’. And I believe to my own words. But to be honestly, I have read a book ‘ The Daily Stoic.’ I have seen intriguing and colorful stories outside my consciousness. I have created simple and sensual ideas.
Listening other people I have learned to say, what do they want to hear and to be silent about what does not interest them. ‘ Nothing’ is everything, what they really want to know.
It is Wednesday.
‘This game is not for scores; it is for the time.’ Words from anime One Outs, I have watched today.
People finish a school for going to the university. They get a degree for finding a job. They work for money, build house for a family. And in the end they forget to live. They waste a time for thinking about material things and lose their bohemia of the soul.
And I am still trying to find myself by writing. Or thinking? What do you want to hear from me? What should I say to you? I am not alone, because loneliness is so deep in my heart that I do not want to feel happiness. Sadness helps me to create a truth. Positive art? Not here. Imagine a warrior living in dystopia, but trying to follow a hedonistic lifestyle. Schizophrenia. He gets crazy and finally kills himself. No one can understand what happened. He was a good husband, a loving father, a faithful friend… He only was born in a wrong place. While Death and Life are playing chess, Destiny is playing with people.
It is Thursday.